My heart broke as I watched Mr. and Mrs. Hampton, parents of a fallen pilot in Iraq. They talked about their daughter, who had been a model student, championship tennis player, and one of only around a half-dozen pilots of helicopters in Iraq that happened to be women.

They talked eloquently of their loss. The pain was evident in the face of the father, a veteran himself. And it was evident in the face of the mother as well. They talked about how their daughter had bucked the system and won a spot on the boy’s tennis team in school. She was also about to be engaged to a Captain in the Army, something that never officially happened.

The reason for writing about Ms. Hampton is not that it is a sad story, although it is certainly that. The reason for writing about this is that I am so glad that it is not my daughter. Although Ms. Hampton had always dreamt of flying, and willingly wanted serve her country in that way, I dare say that she had a much better chance of survival of that experience if this country had not gone to war in Iraq.

My daughter Sara is doing something in the service of her country right now. She is fighting a different battle, one here in our own country. She is involved in being a citizen, someone who would rather freeze in Iowa and New Hampshire instead of being in college this semester. Actually, she is earning college credit while she is intimately involved in the democracy of this country by showing her support for the candidate of her choice. In an era when most people in this country who have the right don’t bother voting, she is completely engaged in being an informed citizen, and working for the values and ideals that she believes in.

If my daughter were in Iraq, I would be no less proud of her. She is every bit as much a patriot as anyone in Iraq. She has chosen for this time in her life, that to be involved in the political process is not only educational, but also fascinating and rewarding on its merits.

I am thankful everyday that I do not have the burden of being a parent of someone who is in harms way in the country’s service overseas. It does not diminish Ms. Hampton’s memory or patriotism in any way. I grieve for her and all the others on both sides who have lost their lives in this war.

It does not have to be this way anymore. We do not have to lose our precious resource, our own sons and daughters and brothers and sisters anymore. We alone, each of us, have the right to decide what direction this country is going. I plan to exercise my rights early, often, and in every way I can think of.

Mark Brooks